4 Simple Steps to Battle Negative Self-Talk

The stories we tell ourselves would make a really bad novel

Kimberly Carter
5 min readJun 18, 2021


I’m not going to bore you with a long introduction because I don’t need to waste your time telling you what you already know — if you spoke to another person like you talk at yourself all day, that person wouldn’t be your friend for very long. Let’s skip the crash course in the psychology behind your internal narrative and get straight to the point.

There are lots of words floating through our heads every day and not many of them are positive.

What are we going to do about that?

1.Write it out

Sometimes we’re too close to ourselves to actually hear what we’re saying inside our heads. If someone walks up and screams in your ear, the shock drowns out the meaning. We do the same thing to ourselves every waking moment of the day.

Our emotional reaction obscures the message when it comes to self-talk. Feelings are tangible. Internal narratives are vague. But, to get to the source of our feelings, we need to discover what we’re saying to ourselves that inspires all those sensations of dread and worthlessness.

The easiest path to discovery is simply writing it all down.

When we take the phrases, complaints, and beliefs from the vague jumble of our mind cloud and write them down in the clear light of day, the insight we gain is cathartic. And you don’t have to make this super hard.

  • Notice when you’re feeling a bit off.
  • Take note of any key word/phrase/belief that seems to be on repeat.
  • Write down what you’re saying in your head.

You can write what you’re telling yourself on the back of a receipt, in the notes function on your phone, in the margins of a book you’re reading, on your grocery list. The point is simply to write down what you’re saying.

The simple act of writing gives you distance. Distance helps you change your perspective. Changing your perspective helps you heal.

2.Pretend you’re a detective looking for a confession



Kimberly Carter

Life coach, riding instructor, writer, I was raised in a barn and now spend my time figuring out how farms heal us. bio.site/bramblewood